Sunday, April 25

Works in Progress

Rainy Sunday morning. I love this.

The rain finally stopped but water still drips off the house and trees. It's so quiet outside, it's weird, as if the birds are waiting to chirp until they're sure the rain is over.

So I'm sitting here at my desk looking out the window at the mound of cut pampas grass, in the far corner of the back yard, spread out on the lawn by the doggies and the rain. Thinking how like me this picture is. (You know, the old growth is cut, allowing new growth to come in. And yet the old remains, waiting for clean-up.)

I'd asked the lawn mowing crew to do some spring clean-up for me, but they forgot to cut the pampas grass. By the time I realized it and called the manager, it was late in the day so I ok'd their cutting it and putting off the clean-up for another day.

The thing is, I'm finally learning to be as nice to myself:
  • When I'm working on something that I really want to do, just do what I have time and energy to do and be nice (to me) about what remains, what can be tackled another day...

    and yet...

  • Be clear in my mind when I've changed my mind. Taking a moment to deliberately recognize that I'm not going to do it because I no longer wish to do it releases me from thinking it's procrastination or a failure to complete. Once I've recognized that I've changed my mind, then the project is finished. Complete. [exhale]

Actually, I think the #1 thing I'm learning to do better is love. Myself. Others. And of the two, loving myself is the harder.

Love you.
Love. You.