Sunday, April 25

Works in Progress

Rainy Sunday morning. I love this.

The rain finally stopped but water still drips off the house and trees. It's so quiet outside, it's weird, as if the birds are waiting to chirp until they're sure the rain is over.

So I'm sitting here at my desk looking out the window at the mound of cut pampas grass, in the far corner of the back yard, spread out on the lawn by the doggies and the rain. Thinking how like me this picture is. (You know, the old growth is cut, allowing new growth to come in. And yet the old remains, waiting for clean-up.)

I'd asked the lawn mowing crew to do some spring clean-up for me, but they forgot to cut the pampas grass. By the time I realized it and called the manager, it was late in the day so I ok'd their cutting it and putting off the clean-up for another day.

The thing is, I'm finally learning to be as nice to myself:
  • When I'm working on something that I really want to do, just do what I have time and energy to do and be nice (to me) about what remains, what can be tackled another day...

    and yet...

  • Be clear in my mind when I've changed my mind. Taking a moment to deliberately recognize that I'm not going to do it because I no longer wish to do it releases me from thinking it's procrastination or a failure to complete. Once I've recognized that I've changed my mind, then the project is finished. Complete. [exhale]

Actually, I think the #1 thing I'm learning to do better is love. Myself. Others. And of the two, loving myself is the harder.

Love you.
Love. You.


Lynilu said...

Mary Ann, I've been reading your blog for a long time, and these days, although you don't post as often as you have at times in the past, every post warms my heart. I'm glad to see you growing and becoming. I like Mary Ann, and I'm glad you do, too. Much happiness. :)

hillgrandmom said...

Mary Ann, I so can get that last paragraph! For me too, loving myself is the hardest.
Love the post.

Teresa said...

Hi Mary Ann,
Thank you so much for dropping by. I am in the midst of 'wierd' events happening in my life, that I hoped would never return. I know sometimes this type of thing makes others think you are a 'bit off your rocker', but honestly, I am quite sane...I loved your blog today about loving yourself, and yes for me that is one of the hardest things to do...I really have to try hard. It is very important to Love yourself...and for some reason most of us think it selfish...(((HUGS))) T

Diana said...

Ah yes learning to love ones self can be difficult for some of us. Yet others can be so easily infatuated! It feels so good though to be able to except our selves warts and all. I too am waiting for this rain to stop, I have plants to get in the ground!
Love Di ♥

terri said...

yes, love always produces the best growth, and the most beautiful gardens. glad you're digging in that soil.

love to you...

Barrie said...

So glad to hear you're being good to yourself. xo

Onedia said...

so nice to have you posting and sharing again...I missed you.


Carolyn said...

Hi Mary Ann
gosh it`s been a while since i last visited you ;o)
Glad to see you`re posting when you feel like it ..
I think it`s hard for women to love themselves when they think of others before themselves and seem to forget that and it comes to a point and you think , what about me ?
You have to put yourself first in somethings , only you can really look after yourself and make you happy and not be hard on yourself if you don`t get all what you wanted to do . So be kind to yourself ;o)

Have a good weekend