Saturday, February 27

Working on it

My life, that is. It's getting better. And spring isn't even here yet!

A few months ago, after Thanksgiving, I started working with a counselor to help me find a balance in my life. My teeter-totter was all teeter. I was so stuck. My counselor's thought was that I had "learned depression" or a belief that I couldn't change my life, a belief learned through setting stretch goals and then not reaching them.

She suggested that I set goals in each area of life since I'd defined my problem as not having a balanced life, not having a life really. The only requirement was that the goals be small, things that would involve one step each week for 15 weeks. My 15 weeks are up mid-March, at which point I'll set 5 more goals.

I started out this way:
  • Physical: taking 2 walks a week of 3,000 steps each
  • Emotional: calling 2 friends each week
  • Intellectual: writing a book for 10 minutes twice a week
  • Social: visiting a church 2 times a month to develop a sense of community
  • Spiritual: volunteering in some way
Now, for those of you who, you know, have lives, that list probably seems weird, but for awhile it was so hard to find time from working (10-hour days) and sitting (CSI, Dancing, Letterman, anyone?) to fit all of those activities in.

But now I've gotten better at setting priorities at work, walking away from it. I started walking through malls and furniture stores but now have joined the Y. I reconnected with my two sisters and a best friend that I'd lost track of. Have found a couple churches that feel good. And have researched ways of helping a young person transitioning out of foster care. I'm applying to be a mentor but might just tutor, to start with, remembering that small steps are better.

Oh, and I started writing a book, one I'd always intended to write, about a long-lost relationship with the ex who done me wrong. So I wrote two chapters -- the intro and the ending -- because I so didn't want to go backward. Now I'm thinking of a new story to tell. Might be about a woman in late-mid life who grows up to be herself...

Smiling at me. You gotta love yourself, you know?



Lynilu said...

I'm glad to hear all that. It sounds like a very good plan, and I'm glad you're not pushing too hard, too fast. I wishing you all the luck with every step of your plan. and I'm smiling at you, too! :) See??

Sherry said...

You sound wonderful, and hopeful and filled with possibility. Sounds to me like you hooked up with someone who has made a difference in your life, so that you can make a difference in your own. xoxoxox

Diana said...

Wow Mary Ann, I was so surprised to see you here, very pleasantly surprised. It seems as though you are on the right track. Counseling can be a great help. I've known two people very close to me that have benefited a great deal from it. I hope things continue to look up for you Mary Ann. Please let us know.
Love Di

debra said...

I'm smiling, too. Good for you!

Barrie said...

Mary Ann, this is wonderful!! Changing habits is tough. And you are totally doing it. Yay, you! xo