Tuesday, March 30

Be still my heart

What good is a still heart? Reason I've been thinking about that is that my stress test showed that I've actually had a heart attack sometime in my life. Sounds strange, but apparently it's not uncommon for people to have one yet not know it.

I've got some meds to take and need to exercise more slowly and lose weight faster than I'd been doing. While at first I was afraid to go to sleep for fear I wouldn't wake up, I've come to see that the only thing that's changed in the last couple of weeks is that I'm now in touch with reality. Information is power, yes?

That news came just in time for me to commit to my 2nd set of mini-goals for the next 15 weeks. They're "very mini" because these are in addition to my original mini-goals and I'm still practicing fitting a fuller life into a work week.

My additional goals for 3/23/10 to 7/6/10:
  • Physical: Working in the yard 10 minutes, 3 times weekly
  • Social: Either have a friend over or participate in a church or community social activity 2 times monthly
  • Emotional: Express a feeling, where expressing it is out of my comfort zone, 1 time weekly
  • Intellectual: Investigate alternatives for becoming credentialed in my field, researching 1 alternative a week
  • Spiritual: Meditate for 10 minutes, 2 times weekly
I'm really enjoying the process of changing in small steps. Typically, I'd have waited until the weekend when there's more time to work in the yard but by puttering a bit last evening, I discovered the first blooms on the groundcover. A little reward hidden in the leaves.

Here's to making each week a bit more interesting than the last!


Diana said...

It really is fun discovering new growth in the yard. I love your goals Mary Ann, they are very practical and not overwhelming! I'm sorry to hear that you had a heart attack. It's a warning. I had two strokes, that was a warning too. Lifestyle changes is what we need to do. Good luck to you!
Love Di ♥

Sherry said...

Just being devil's advocate here...have you had ALL the tests to confirm that diagnosis? Reason I ask is...when I was having my pre-op for my breast cancer surgery, the ecg showed the same thing in me -- that at some point I'd had a heart attack. Talk about adding salt to my wound...breast cancer AND a heart attack. The doctors did all the tests...another ecg, stress test, 2D echo, angiogram, dopplers...and lo and behold, my heart was in perfect shape and no sign of ever having had a heart attack. The breast cancer unfortunately was real, the heart attack was not.

Sometimes the meds they give us for something we might not need can be more damaging...so assure me please that the battery of tests were run to confirm because one test can be a false/positive.

Sending you big hugs!

Mary Ann said...

You're right, Diana, a clear warning signal. I'm glad you're doing better now.

And I hear what you're saying, Sherry. They didn't do all of those you listed but did a nuclear stress test (after the first two ecgs and a regular stress test) and it was clear that about 1/3 of my heart wasn't functioning. When I go back in three weeks, we'll discuss possibility of doing a cardiac cath to check the anatomy. I'll ask her about the other tests you listed.

Thanks for the love 'n hugs. :)

Sherry said...

That makes me feel better...not that you have 1/3 of your heart not functioning properly...that you are going to have all the necessary tests to figure out what's going on and what if anything else you'll need to do. :)


Onedia said...

great ideas....and good progress. So glad you are writing here again .... I really missed you.

terri said...

sorry to hear this news, but i'm glad that it's moving you in the direction that you'd like to go. sometimes meditating on death can end up breathing all kinds of life into us. funny how that works.

debra said...

I am happy you are taking care of yourself. Journey of 100 miles does begin with a single step---or series of them. Snowdrops have been joined by scilia and daffodils. The grass has greened up. Spring!

hillgrandmom said...

I remeber my mother too had ben told that she might have had a heart attack. But she lived to 89 and quite a good life.
LIke your goals--old & new.

Jane said...

I heard something similar from someone else recently about having had a mild heart attack and not knowing it at the time. We put so much stress on ourselves.

I too started a similar goal list for each area of importance in my life. It takes so much discipline for me. I'm so glad to see you back here blogging. I missed you!

Barrie said...

Small steps are the definitely the way to success. It sounds as though you're doing beautifully. Sorry about the heart news. but, I'm with you, knowledge is a good thing. xo